Self-confidence is a psychological and emotional mindset, which responds to the individual's need for recognition and self-acceptance.

One of the major concerns afflicting parents today is their children’s lack of confidence. Children suffering from shyness withdraw into themselves and give up on the world around them. These children generally suffer from lost confidence, which in turn makes their existence much more difficult for them to live. Self-confident individuals, on the other hand, usually know better what they can achieve and are more likely to succeed in whatever they attempt.

Children from Birmingham who suffer from loss of confidence hesitate and may not want to try new things. They are in the habit of speaking negatively about themselves and undermining their potentials. They have low tolerance for frustration and give up easily. They would rather wait for someone to do things for them and lead them through situations they can’t handle. Loss of confidence leads to perceiving temporary hindrances as permanent and they always feel pessimistic and hopeless towards everything, to the point that it becomes difficult for them to keep up in school for fear of failure. They avoid participating in extra-curricular activities such as games and sports for fear of physical injury, if not out of sheer shyness.

Tips to help build confidence in your children:

- Express your love as often as possible and tell them how much you care.
- Spend time talking to them, and give time to listen to what they have to say.
- Play games with them. Let them participate in household chores.
- Express appreciation and praises for your children’s achievements and success, not only verbally, but in actions as well.
- Encourage them to do their own thing, make choices and to be independent.
- Remember to emphasize on the good things your children do, and ignore any annoying behaviour at the same time.
- Encourage your children to make friends with other kids, since having friends help in boosting the child’s self-esteem.

If none of the above helps in improving your child’s loss of confidence, NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) offers techniques that can be applied to help kids with their confidence lost.

Pacing: In NLP, ‘pacing’ is the mirroring/matching of another person to gain rapport, by complimenting their behaviour and showing support. Getting down to their physical level is a fast and simple way to establish connection, and hence, a powerful NLP strategy.

Using their maps of the world: By using their terms and language to communicate to them and which they can relate to.
Metaphors: Using metaphorical stories is a great way of using NLP with children to instruct their unconscious minds.

Leading: Once a rapport has been established, you can then lead them to do their work.

In worst cases, such as confidence lost from a traumatic experience, professional counselling by a therapist for lack of confidence in children in Birmingham remains the only option for such children, suffering from loss of confidence.

Lack of confidence is a behavioural problem and upbringing plays a pivotal role in shaping the kind of personalities children develop in later life. Children who are proud achievers, but do not necessarily get reciprocated for their achievements eventually develop a feeling of low self-esteem. On the other hand, children who are coaxed into achieving something, but are hesitant about their own abilities, can also end up the same way.

It is, therefore, the parents’ responsibility to help their children overcome their loss of confidence and help build the inner strengths necessary to cope with what life has to offer. Good parenting can make a big difference in the child’s life by way of imparting confidence in them from a young age.

By Gemma Bailey